Surviving in this world #1: Perfectionism
What we remember most about our childhood mistakes and failures are the heavy emotions attached to them like fear, shame, embarrassment.
We were easily judged by parents, friends and relatives whenever we made a mistake. So of course, our brain tried to protect us from feeling those negative emotions again.
Fear, unfortunately, has often been a powerful motivator behind our actions.
We perfectly cleaned our rooms to avoid hearing our mother shout. We trained relentlessly to avoid being judged for our physical appearance. We studied for eight hours a day to avoid conflicts at home. As adults, we overwork to please our bosses and keep our jobs out of fear of judgment.
Mistakes and failures are crucial tools for growth, but we learned to hide or avoid them so we wouldn't get hurt. We stunted our own growth because of a fear of judgment carried over from childhood.
However, as adults, we now recognize our intrinsic value and know that we own our space and time. Those past fears no longer dictate our safety. We are safe now.
Perfectionism was a survival strategy in childhood. Today, we can choose when to draw upon it, but it should never be our default mode. In 95% of cases, we shouldn't aim for perfection.
We should simply enjoy what we are doing in the present, accepting mistakes as part of the learning journey.